March 30, 2026 Dear Juii, First I want to tell you that I love your name because it is cute. I mean I love everything about you, not just the name. Every morning I wake up and always check my phone. I feel happy seeing you in my notifications. Before I go to college, I always think about what you are doing and always wait for you to reply. Everywhere I go I always think about you; when I go somewhere I always think that you might like this or there. I even feel sad when you tell me about how many patients you check and how tired you are. I feel bad that I cannot take care of you and cannot take you on a date when you feel sad, because I know to myself I am that kind of person, so I always hope that one day I can do that with you. You know after class I go to church just to pray that one day we can finally live together, do those cute date ideas, or even have a kid named after both of us and do what married couples do. I really hate kids and marriages, but being with you makes me want that. Back then I was really not craving for a relationship. I did not want someone entering my life again, also because of how busy I am with this college life, but you came into my life. I say what I always thought was cringe; I am being soft again after telling myself that I would not be. I cared so much after telling myself I would not care for someone again. I opened my heart and loved deeply after telling myself I would not fall in love again. I am slowly letting myself feel that love again that once shattered me. Commitment really always scared me, but being in a relationship with you, I fully surrender my heart to you. I have become someone I said I do not want to be, and so dependent to the point I feel upset when I do not get any attention, even though I know it is bad because you are busy. I cannot help it; even reassurance and updates from you I crave. Today, breaking up or letting go really does not cross my mind every time we are having a misunderstanding, getting upset with each other, or having problems, because you are the only person I want and the person I want to be with. But today, I know that what we talk about is something that can be fixed and talked out, but what you just told me right now really did shatter me to the point I cannot stop my tears from falling. I feel numb. I hate crying at all. If dating and loving me really makes you regret, then I am letting you go. Loving someone should not be regretful. Typing this really makes my heart hurt. I am still hoping you will text me that you did not mean what you said and fix things with me, so I can undo what I am typing right now. I know people say mean things when they are mad, but I know you would not do that and it would never happen. I am not mad at you or hate you, and I never would. Continue flipping the next page of your book without me on the next chapter.