Dear juii,

First i want to tell you that.. i love your name cuz it's cute i mean i love everything about you not just the name..

Every morning i wake up and always check my phone... I feel happy seeing you in my notifications. Before i go to college i always think about what you're doing and always wait for you to reply. Everywhere i go i always think about you, like when i go somewhere i always think that you might like this or there..

I even feel sad when you tell me about how many patients you check and how tired you are, i feel bad that I can't take care of you, and can't take you on a date when you feel sad because i know to myself i am that kind of person so i always hope that one day i can do that with you... You know after class i go to church just to pray that one day we can finally live together and do that cute date ideas in my mind.

Back then I was really not craving for a relationship, I didn't want someone entering my life because of how busy i am to this college life, but you came into my life. I say what i always thought was cringe, I'm being soft again that i tell myself that I won't be, i cared so much that i told myself i won't care for someone again, i opened my heart and loved deeply that i told myself I won't fall in love again..

I'm slowly letting myself feel that love again that once shattered me, commitment really always scared me but being in relationships with you i fully surrender my heart to you that i become someone i said i don't want to.

Today breaking up or letting go really doesn't actually cross my mind every time we are having a misunderstanding, getting upset with each other and having problems.. cuz you're the only person i want and a person i want to be with.. but today..i know that what we talk about is something that can be fixed..but what you just told me rn really shattered me.. telling me that is telling me you regret dating me.. if dating and loving me really make you regret then I'm letting you go... Loving someone shouldn't be regretful...

typing this really makes my heart hurt and still hoping you will text me that you don't mean it what you say and fix things with me, so i can undo what I'm typing rn, but that would never happen...